March 18, 2005 - The Ride in Florida
RED HILLS TO THE SEA
I am beginning to wonder if this is a good idea. Fear is coming into play. Let me tell you what people are telling me to watch for on the ride.
There are lots of snakes and about two are not venomous, green and black. There are alligators and wild bores. The bores kill more people than the alligators. There are bugs, like mosquitoes and cockroaches, and those are just the living things. There are red ants all over. Don’t park your bike on a nest or your tent. I did not see any of these things. I didn’t see the 12 mosquitoes that got me, but they did itch a lot.
They have tornadoes and hurricanes (high winds with lots of rain). I don’t know where I am going. Without a cheat sheet, I will be lost. What have I got myself into??? There will be a transfer on the plane - Oh Joy!
March 31 – I made it home alive. It is 5:00 a.m. I took a walk to the gas station to get coffee. (Only 79 cents). Someday I will learn how to make coffee. It looks easy. I really wanted to use my new cup from the space center in Huntsville, Alabama (bragging). Here is the saga of Byran:
March 18th – Portland, OR to Huntsville, Alabama
Well on with the ride and don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story (just kidding). It is Spring break and that is how we can camp at schools. The guard at the terminal said the reason it was slow was that 85% were first time flyers. He also said, “Oh, you are going to Ride Florida. If it rains, watch out for Water Moccasins crossing the road.” (Yes, why am I going on this ride?) One more thing to watch for and I am getting a gun.
The first plane was big and after a bus ride I got to the second plane. There was lots of time between flights so I bought a hamburger. I was looking for the water and asked the clean up guy where it was. He laughed and said, “Push the button under the water sign, the one with the biggest letters.” We had a good laugh on me. I talked to the guy next to me on the plane and when we landed he helped me find my luggage. The plane was so small that there were no carry-ons and that was all I had. As we stood there waiting for our bags, up walked Valli and said, “Hi Vick.” He was her old neighbor who lived there in Huntsville, Alabama. I tried my old gag on Vick’s wife of acting like I knew her for years but she didn’t fall for it and said, “Who is this guy?”
We are at Connie’s (Valli’s mother) house and she had a great dinner for the family.
19th – Ride Around Monticello – 15.4 miles (loop rides: 25.5 & 33.3)
It was a good day for driving to Monticello. As we left dinner, I was talking to this guy who had Dunlap disease (belly done lopped over) and was telling us about the mega hills in Alabama. Valli and I were having a hard time holding it in. He kept telling us about these Mega hills. We didn’t arrive in time to do this ride. They had a good band but weak beer. No pay Phones to call home.
20th – Monticello to Quincy – 68.7 miles
Breakfast was pancakes five times on the ride and this guy would flip them at you from about 20 feet back. Valli said she seen him flip them a lot further. Most of the day was spent riding through plantations that grow trees in rows and catered to bird hunting. They mowed rows through the brush to walk I think, with two “Mega” hills a block long. There were parts that had a sign that said “trees over the road.” They were about five feet at the base and canopied over the road. Why the sign?
Valli saw two alligators. I didn’t see them. Whine, whine, sob. She met other people from other rides on this ride.
21st – Quincy to Blountstown – 49.5 miles
DON’T SLEEP NEXT TO A HEAT PUMP !!!!!!!!!!!!
This ride didn’t furnish lunch, just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. At dinner people would get two plates and heap them. The band was slow, country, and sad. I was falling asleep. The saddest part was it was a county that drank no beer. No booze. It was a sad situation – A BIKE RIDE WITH NO BEER. L
There were lots of churches, more than cemeteries. There was one that rang its bell every 15 minutes and donged out the hours all night long and I was hoping for a quiet night’s sleep? We were going to ride 100 miles the next day.
22nd – Blountstown to Apalachicola – 75.6 miles (century option)
It was a day of flat riding. All the trees were in rows. We made a wrong turn and only did 75 miles. There was a metal tower for fire watch that they let us climb. You could see for miles. The wind was blowing very strong and the tower swayed – the thrill of the day. Not much training for this ride so three miles and get off the bike. Valli was getting a deaf ear to how bad my butt hurt.
We got to the Bay and did I tell you about my butt hurting? The wind had gusts up to 70 mph and 75 is a gale. My butt still hurts. Two people crashed and they wouldn’t let us ride the bridge because they ran out of ambulances. They put our bikes in a trailer and we rode a luxurious bus with TV and bathroom. My butt was so happy to ride on a bus for 5 miles to camp.
The rains were starting when we arrived at camp. The police told us to evacuate to the church and gymnasium. I watching the people pack to go and I asked Valli if we should go. She gave me a hand signal, “No.”
The meal tonight was fish. Really good. We walked into town in the rain; bought a 6-pack at a gas station and went over to a tent that was set up for the band (there was no band), drank beer and talked to other people who were there. At 8:00 p.m. we went back to our tents. The rain and wind was real loud and heavy.
23rd – Day Off or Bike to the Beach (St. George Island)
The question was asked, “How many different letters are in Apalachicola?” This was a small town where the first cooler for air conditioning and refrigeration was patented. The tallest thing around this town was a pile of oyster shells. When the sun came out, it was the strongest smelling thing too. The boats would average 30 sacks of oysters at 60 pounds per sack. We took the bus to St. George Island and walked on the beach. It was full of shells. After our walk we took the bus back to town and bought lunch.
We heard a story of what happened to the bikers who stayed in the church. A gal called the Red Cross in for crowd control for the bikers. One gal had to drive from another town to help with “controlling the bikers.” One of the “controllers” was in the gym and had the light on. When asked if he would turn the light off so they could sleep, he said he would be awake all night and the light was so people could find him. My tent leaked a little but I slept very well this night. There were no zippers this night but the zippers and the bathroom doors together more than made up for it the next night. The people who stayed in the gym had to be packed and “out” by 7:30 a.m. Tonight the stars were out and there was no wind.
24th – Apalachicola to Sopchoppy - 46.1 miles
Sunburned and bug bit (I took my shirt off when we walked on the beach the day before). It was a sunny day, flat, and no wind. The tent is about a mile from town and dinner. It is the town of the Worm Gruntin’ and Oyster Shuckin’ Festival. They get $6.75/lb. for worms. I made the worm gruntin’ thing work. It is a stick about 2 feet long. You rub it with a metal bar. It vibrates the ground and the worms come out.
A restaurant was advertised as “all you can eat” and thought there were only 50 riders coming through. They were quickly out of food. Valli and I went to a pizza parlor, the other place you could buy food. I never saw a guy make a pizza that slow in all my life. The saddest part of all was a PIZZA PARLAR WITH NO BEER AND ADD THE GROCERY STORE TO THAT LIST. The gas station had wall-to-wall beer. On the endangered species list for Florida add Beer and Phones. Ilene didn’t like it when I called her in the mornings at 4:45 a.m.
I talked to a guy for hours who had ridden around the world and in the U.S.A. - sometimes three months at a time. The last day of riding is coming. There was a lightning rainstorm this night. The ground shook. Scary. I am now soaking wet but warm. I was thinking it is new tent time. Valli’s tent gave its all and is now dedicated to the round can.
25th – Sopchoppy to Monticello – 65.7
The riding was fast. It started at 7:30 and by 11:00 a.m. we had put down 50 miles. No wind and flat will help you go fast. We went 18 to 20 miles per hour some of the time, 16 most of the time. A rainstorm came. We were wet and grimy riding into Monticello. We drove to Huntsville, AL and stayed with Valli’s mother.
26th
Went to the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, AL. The things in this museum of rockets and stuff were so large. It is something I recommend you go and see. We went on two rides. One went up and down and one went round and round.
The weather reports said, “Big Storm Coming to Huntsville.” Two to 6 inches of rain in Portland, OR.
27th
Easter Sunday we said our good-byes and were on the road. It rained hard for the last 400 miles. It finally cleared up and the road was dry at Pig Trail Scenic Byway. I don’t know where we are in Arkansas. One more state and we get to see lovely Kansas again. Valli is looking for cattle trucks. She misses the smell and feel of the pee. She talks a lot about her ride through Kansas.
Valli found a room for $24.03 a night with tax. The first thing is that it looked like it had been used a lot. Smelled like someone had just taken a dump in it. The door closes but there is a gap and looks like someone opened it and didn’t unlock it. The safety latch had one screw in it that looked like someone put it in by hand. It was hanging like it would fall off any time. The bed was box springs, had one blanket and two clean sheets. Good TV, lots of channels. The bathroom looked like Mr. Handyman just remodeled it. He must have been drinking the same stuff as the guy who rented it to us. The guy renting it to us climbed over the counter to check on the price of candy for a Spring Breaker.
In Valli’s room, the shower was made for a 4 ft. 6 inch Mexican. The heater in my room sounded like a 747 taking off and it ran all night. It was louder than the truckers getting ready to do their runs. Valli hit her head on the TV three times. She was a little bit tired. I didn’t walk under mine.
28th
The day’s drive went well. Gas was $2.25/gallon, the most we paid. We arrived in Denver and I was glad Valli was driving. They were working on the road and everyone wanted our spot in work traffic.
29th
Woke up and it was 75 degrees, sunny. Used Valli’s Mountain bikes and went for a ride. We rode 7 miles up this road and found a great looking mountain trail that went for another 10 miles. The clouds were coming in so we went to the truck and drove home in a snowstorm. We went and bought a burrito and then went to Black Hawk to get rid of our money. I lost $25 and Valli lost more.
30th Denver to Portland
You can’t take a bicycle wrench on the plane in your carry-on - Just something to make the trip more interesting. You can check two bags and the wrench (1/8 inch by 8 inches long) went in its own bag. One bag, one wrench. Luckily I had a small bag with me.
I am now home and still have to look at the map to see where I have been.
When are you coming with me to be Byranized? This was the easiest ride I have ever done – only four “mega” hills.
RED HILLS TO THE SEA
I am beginning to wonder if this is a good idea. Fear is coming into play. Let me tell you what people are telling me to watch for on the ride.
There are lots of snakes and about two are not venomous, green and black. There are alligators and wild bores. The bores kill more people than the alligators. There are bugs, like mosquitoes and cockroaches, and those are just the living things. There are red ants all over. Don’t park your bike on a nest or your tent. I did not see any of these things. I didn’t see the 12 mosquitoes that got me, but they did itch a lot.
They have tornadoes and hurricanes (high winds with lots of rain). I don’t know where I am going. Without a cheat sheet, I will be lost. What have I got myself into??? There will be a transfer on the plane - Oh Joy!
March 31 – I made it home alive. It is 5:00 a.m. I took a walk to the gas station to get coffee. (Only 79 cents). Someday I will learn how to make coffee. It looks easy. I really wanted to use my new cup from the space center in Huntsville, Alabama (bragging). Here is the saga of Byran:
March 18th – Portland, OR to Huntsville, Alabama
Well on with the ride and don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story (just kidding). It is Spring break and that is how we can camp at schools. The guard at the terminal said the reason it was slow was that 85% were first time flyers. He also said, “Oh, you are going to Ride Florida. If it rains, watch out for Water Moccasins crossing the road.” (Yes, why am I going on this ride?) One more thing to watch for and I am getting a gun.
The first plane was big and after a bus ride I got to the second plane. There was lots of time between flights so I bought a hamburger. I was looking for the water and asked the clean up guy where it was. He laughed and said, “Push the button under the water sign, the one with the biggest letters.” We had a good laugh on me. I talked to the guy next to me on the plane and when we landed he helped me find my luggage. The plane was so small that there were no carry-ons and that was all I had. As we stood there waiting for our bags, up walked Valli and said, “Hi Vick.” He was her old neighbor who lived there in Huntsville, Alabama. I tried my old gag on Vick’s wife of acting like I knew her for years but she didn’t fall for it and said, “Who is this guy?”
We are at Connie’s (Valli’s mother) house and she had a great dinner for the family.
19th – Ride Around Monticello – 15.4 miles (loop rides: 25.5 & 33.3)
It was a good day for driving to Monticello. As we left dinner, I was talking to this guy who had Dunlap disease (belly done lopped over) and was telling us about the mega hills in Alabama. Valli and I were having a hard time holding it in. He kept telling us about these Mega hills. We didn’t arrive in time to do this ride. They had a good band but weak beer. No pay Phones to call home.
20th – Monticello to Quincy – 68.7 miles
Breakfast was pancakes five times on the ride and this guy would flip them at you from about 20 feet back. Valli said she seen him flip them a lot further. Most of the day was spent riding through plantations that grow trees in rows and catered to bird hunting. They mowed rows through the brush to walk I think, with two “Mega” hills a block long. There were parts that had a sign that said “trees over the road.” They were about five feet at the base and canopied over the road. Why the sign?
Valli saw two alligators. I didn’t see them. Whine, whine, sob. She met other people from other rides on this ride.
21st – Quincy to Blountstown – 49.5 miles
DON’T SLEEP NEXT TO A HEAT PUMP !!!!!!!!!!!!
This ride didn’t furnish lunch, just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. At dinner people would get two plates and heap them. The band was slow, country, and sad. I was falling asleep. The saddest part was it was a county that drank no beer. No booze. It was a sad situation – A BIKE RIDE WITH NO BEER. L
There were lots of churches, more than cemeteries. There was one that rang its bell every 15 minutes and donged out the hours all night long and I was hoping for a quiet night’s sleep? We were going to ride 100 miles the next day.
22nd – Blountstown to Apalachicola – 75.6 miles (century option)
It was a day of flat riding. All the trees were in rows. We made a wrong turn and only did 75 miles. There was a metal tower for fire watch that they let us climb. You could see for miles. The wind was blowing very strong and the tower swayed – the thrill of the day. Not much training for this ride so three miles and get off the bike. Valli was getting a deaf ear to how bad my butt hurt.
We got to the Bay and did I tell you about my butt hurting? The wind had gusts up to 70 mph and 75 is a gale. My butt still hurts. Two people crashed and they wouldn’t let us ride the bridge because they ran out of ambulances. They put our bikes in a trailer and we rode a luxurious bus with TV and bathroom. My butt was so happy to ride on a bus for 5 miles to camp.
The rains were starting when we arrived at camp. The police told us to evacuate to the church and gymnasium. I watching the people pack to go and I asked Valli if we should go. She gave me a hand signal, “No.”
The meal tonight was fish. Really good. We walked into town in the rain; bought a 6-pack at a gas station and went over to a tent that was set up for the band (there was no band), drank beer and talked to other people who were there. At 8:00 p.m. we went back to our tents. The rain and wind was real loud and heavy.
23rd – Day Off or Bike to the Beach (St. George Island)
The question was asked, “How many different letters are in Apalachicola?” This was a small town where the first cooler for air conditioning and refrigeration was patented. The tallest thing around this town was a pile of oyster shells. When the sun came out, it was the strongest smelling thing too. The boats would average 30 sacks of oysters at 60 pounds per sack. We took the bus to St. George Island and walked on the beach. It was full of shells. After our walk we took the bus back to town and bought lunch.
We heard a story of what happened to the bikers who stayed in the church. A gal called the Red Cross in for crowd control for the bikers. One gal had to drive from another town to help with “controlling the bikers.” One of the “controllers” was in the gym and had the light on. When asked if he would turn the light off so they could sleep, he said he would be awake all night and the light was so people could find him. My tent leaked a little but I slept very well this night. There were no zippers this night but the zippers and the bathroom doors together more than made up for it the next night. The people who stayed in the gym had to be packed and “out” by 7:30 a.m. Tonight the stars were out and there was no wind.
24th – Apalachicola to Sopchoppy - 46.1 miles
Sunburned and bug bit (I took my shirt off when we walked on the beach the day before). It was a sunny day, flat, and no wind. The tent is about a mile from town and dinner. It is the town of the Worm Gruntin’ and Oyster Shuckin’ Festival. They get $6.75/lb. for worms. I made the worm gruntin’ thing work. It is a stick about 2 feet long. You rub it with a metal bar. It vibrates the ground and the worms come out.
A restaurant was advertised as “all you can eat” and thought there were only 50 riders coming through. They were quickly out of food. Valli and I went to a pizza parlor, the other place you could buy food. I never saw a guy make a pizza that slow in all my life. The saddest part of all was a PIZZA PARLAR WITH NO BEER AND ADD THE GROCERY STORE TO THAT LIST. The gas station had wall-to-wall beer. On the endangered species list for Florida add Beer and Phones. Ilene didn’t like it when I called her in the mornings at 4:45 a.m.
I talked to a guy for hours who had ridden around the world and in the U.S.A. - sometimes three months at a time. The last day of riding is coming. There was a lightning rainstorm this night. The ground shook. Scary. I am now soaking wet but warm. I was thinking it is new tent time. Valli’s tent gave its all and is now dedicated to the round can.
25th – Sopchoppy to Monticello – 65.7
The riding was fast. It started at 7:30 and by 11:00 a.m. we had put down 50 miles. No wind and flat will help you go fast. We went 18 to 20 miles per hour some of the time, 16 most of the time. A rainstorm came. We were wet and grimy riding into Monticello. We drove to Huntsville, AL and stayed with Valli’s mother.
26th
Went to the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, AL. The things in this museum of rockets and stuff were so large. It is something I recommend you go and see. We went on two rides. One went up and down and one went round and round.
The weather reports said, “Big Storm Coming to Huntsville.” Two to 6 inches of rain in Portland, OR.
27th
Easter Sunday we said our good-byes and were on the road. It rained hard for the last 400 miles. It finally cleared up and the road was dry at Pig Trail Scenic Byway. I don’t know where we are in Arkansas. One more state and we get to see lovely Kansas again. Valli is looking for cattle trucks. She misses the smell and feel of the pee. She talks a lot about her ride through Kansas.
Valli found a room for $24.03 a night with tax. The first thing is that it looked like it had been used a lot. Smelled like someone had just taken a dump in it. The door closes but there is a gap and looks like someone opened it and didn’t unlock it. The safety latch had one screw in it that looked like someone put it in by hand. It was hanging like it would fall off any time. The bed was box springs, had one blanket and two clean sheets. Good TV, lots of channels. The bathroom looked like Mr. Handyman just remodeled it. He must have been drinking the same stuff as the guy who rented it to us. The guy renting it to us climbed over the counter to check on the price of candy for a Spring Breaker.
In Valli’s room, the shower was made for a 4 ft. 6 inch Mexican. The heater in my room sounded like a 747 taking off and it ran all night. It was louder than the truckers getting ready to do their runs. Valli hit her head on the TV three times. She was a little bit tired. I didn’t walk under mine.
28th
The day’s drive went well. Gas was $2.25/gallon, the most we paid. We arrived in Denver and I was glad Valli was driving. They were working on the road and everyone wanted our spot in work traffic.
29th
Woke up and it was 75 degrees, sunny. Used Valli’s Mountain bikes and went for a ride. We rode 7 miles up this road and found a great looking mountain trail that went for another 10 miles. The clouds were coming in so we went to the truck and drove home in a snowstorm. We went and bought a burrito and then went to Black Hawk to get rid of our money. I lost $25 and Valli lost more.
30th Denver to Portland
You can’t take a bicycle wrench on the plane in your carry-on - Just something to make the trip more interesting. You can check two bags and the wrench (1/8 inch by 8 inches long) went in its own bag. One bag, one wrench. Luckily I had a small bag with me.
I am now home and still have to look at the map to see where I have been.
When are you coming with me to be Byranized? This was the easiest ride I have ever done – only four “mega” hills.
posted by Byran on the side at 8:48 AM
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